Being a single mother is hard and exhausting work. It requires countless efforts, total attention and inventive skills. More even when the whole world reminds that you and your kids don’t live in a full family, you find it more difficult to handle your parenting duties properly and keep a calm face.
It often happens that even receiving after-divorce help for yourself and your children, you all still feel incompleteness and emptiness having no father around all the time. There is nothing to fear and worry about, but there are things you should get prepared to. Father’s Day is on the top of the list. It can be a real challenge for you and your children, so you’d better set your rules and strategies for the day in advance.
Dos on Father’s Day
- Allow your children to celebrate with their father – no matter what relationships you have with your ex-spouse and how you ended up after finishing with divorce services, you simply have no right to restrain your children from seeing their dad on Father’s Day. This will only make your kids feel more miserable and abandoned. So, step over your emotions and feelings and let your children spend a great time with their dad.
- Welcome other males on a celebration or in children’s life – if there is no possibility to spend Father’s Day with the father, it is a good idea to welcome some other males to accompany your children on the local or school celebrations or simply have fun together. It can be their grandpa or uncle, a friend of the family, any man your children feel comfortable with. So that even though their dad is not around, your children can feel a strong hand of support and care around their shoulders. Father’s Day is a good chance to welcome a completely new male in your children’s lives and introduce your boyfriend to them. Still, you need to get prepared thoroughly and consult specialists in advance to prevent unpleasant situations.
- Honor the father: alive or passed away – a gesture of the supportive mother will be your participation in Father’s Day. Help your kids to prepare for a special day for their father, make postcards or handmade presents together. If the father has passed away, find a way to honor him together with your children. Look through old photos, share good and funny memories, reveal your feelings and emotions.
- Use time for yourself – if your children are happy to spend Father’s Day with their dad and you are not the part of their plan, there is actually nothing to be mad about. Use the opportunity of having a free day to relax and treat yourself. Hang out with your girlfriends, have a cocktail or two, relax on your own or go clubbing. Choose any activity, you cannot do having kids around but which brings you pleasure. Make this day special for yourself as well.
Don’ts on Father’s Day
- Don’t try to replace the father – you are mother, the dearest person for your children in the world. You are there to support, care about and love them. But they still need a strong male shoulder, their father’s one. Whatever you do, you can never replace him. And your resultless efforts will only make you and your children sad. So, don’t make your family suffer, let your children communicate with their father, if not in the flesh, then at least with the help of digital devices.
- Don’t say bad words about father – time has passed, you got divorced onlinesuccessfully, now you can openly detest each other, or ignore, or stay friends, or whatever you want. But what is definitely prohibited, that is blackening your ex-partner in front of your children. No matter how much you complain about his bad attitude, how badly he ruined your family life, how much he neglects his parental duties, he is still father for your kids. And they will love him the way he is and wait for him to come back any minute. Meanwhile, your complaints will only make your children feel sad and painful. So, set your priorities and be careful with words you say about your ex.
- Don’t invent Father’s Day without father – even though your divorce has passed smoothly, you got qualitative help filling out divorce forms and filed for divorce with no problems, you cannot simply erase your ex from your life. More on Father’s Day your children need their dad. There are cases when single mothers invent new traditions and events to exclude dad from Father’s Day celebration or put on a baseball cap to act like a father and show the children that they don’t need their father anymore. But it will never work properly. Such actions will only highlight the absence of dad on Father’s Day and kids’ life in general and make them feel disappointed in the end.